Esperenza's Diary

Psh. Like Y'all Really Need An Introduction, Eh?
Where t'start... Where t'start...

A'ight. Folks 'round here call me, Essie, mates! I'm not your typical gal, y'see. Nope. I'm a bit of a screwball, honestly. Was a thief, an' maybe a chronic liar at one point, but I'm workin' to get rid of my bad habits.

I can't read or write at the moment, so m'sisters writin' up everythin' up for me at the mo'. So if'n y'see any mistakes, poke her, eh? OW! (Yes, the ow was included to indicate I shall be kicking Esperenza's ass if she, or anyone else, corrects me. Ahem.)

Aaanyways... M'life's not too glamorous. I lead two seperate lives. One as a rambunctious li'l coyote, and the other as a rambunctious... gods. I don't want to say 'li'l' here. Well, in this alternate universe, I'm human, so sometime's I'll interrupt with a bit o' mundane life stuff. If it's a genuine journal entry pertainin' only to this particular coyote's life, it'll be all snazzed up with an indicatin' lucky three stars. Y'know, like this ***. Simple? Yeah, I thought so.

Here's somethin' amusin' to those folks who live along with m'coyote self, eh?

A Dozen Things in RP That Make This Puppy Cry Inside:

1.) One liners in an adult dream. ...Eighteen years minimum, and you can't say more than, "XXX walks up and stands by himself."? ...Okay, soo... I should acknowledge you, why? Waste of space, man, waaaste of space. Just like you. ...Though I still love you. Like hot chocolate. An' cookies. An' shtuff.

2.) The 'would' thing. "XXX would not sit down, but would lean against the bar." Okay. Soo... he would. Got it. ...But what's he doin' now? 'Cause... he would.... but I didn't see anything about what he DID do. Give me some info here, peeps. You're killin' the coyote! Seriously. Puppy's crying. Is that what you wanted??

3.) Instant Incapitation. ..........What the hey now? Soo... like... "XXX throws dagger between eyes. Laughs and walks away." ...You're not-so-secretly carrying the mentality of a nine year old, right? 'Cause I'm seein' no recognition of the consequences of your actions. Coyotes don't just sit there and wait for someone to jab 'em between the eyes. Because, y'know...it hurts. That'd be even stupider than what you just did. ...Nimrod. (But I love's ya so.)

4.) Chronic Flood Whispering. ...Amazingly, I do have an alternative character you can spam mercilessly. When I'm in my happy rp bubble, DON'T POP IT. Coyote gets cranky. T-T OOC Alts = A-okay. Interrupting puppy = nuh uh. No treat for you. Don't make the puppy's head hurt, she's FRAGILE.

5.) "XXX: Waaah. I can't rp because you're all popular." Good gods. I know you're insecure, but... gods. Get a grip. Y'see my ears? See this fur? It twitches when I hear this, in AGITATION. Who are these popular people you're talkin' about? This ain't high school mate, though the melodramatics may sometimes indicate otherwise. No one's telling you y'can't roleplay with other people because you feel too intimidated to try. Just breathe, relax, go out and have FUN. Amazingly, you'll find rp! I can't stand hearing someone whine because they're in the ooc room and can't get any. Well... like... maybe if you went ic, it might HELP? Y'know, just a little? Case Closed, luuurv ya <3~ Ooh, a cookie... -wanders off-

6.) Mixing OOC with IC: BIG no-no. Nuh-uh, mates, nuh-UH. For example, my coyote gets angry at your character, doesn't want to talk with him/her. "XXX whispers, "You hate me, don't you." to you. ] " ...Um. Oookay. If I hated you, I'd say so. This is ROLEPLAY. Why are you taking it seriously? Good gods. If I had a penny for every time this happened, I'd have to move to a new house. With a vault. And a Pool Boy. A sexy, sexy, pool boy. Not the cheap kind. With a sauna. And a hot tub. And... yeah, you get the picture, mates. ^-~

7.) Netspeak. Self-explanatory. Save it for OOC, 'cause otherwise it's L@m3. Or however you say it. >.> Lame.

8.) Chronic whining about hoomans. Um. Y'don't think ferals are odd? I mean, if you're going to complain about one, at least whine about the other if you intend to have any logic at all. What I love seeing is when someone complains about a fox being with, say, a rat. ...Um, you're on furcadia. It's fantasy. Odd things do shtuff, and produce odder things. Ain't it awesome? XD Don't be speciest, dude! It's not politically correct. :/ (You can be, of course, it makes me giggle. 'Cause it's siiilly.) ...Did I mention I want a pool boy? A really sexy one? ...Just wondering.

9.) "XXX sits alone and contemplates his loneliness." ...That's nice, dear. You do that. I can dig it. You so deep. ....'Nuff said.

10.) Five page novel posts that flood the screen to the point you have to upload the logs to figure out what the hell just happened to reply. 'Cause I go all O_O OMG WTHell just happened, dudes! I'm like, trippin' here! ...If I wanted a novel, I'd go read one. Have some consideration; there's other people in there who need to post, too. Juuuust a thought. (But if it involves hot, shexy Ori/Mor/Jay lurrv, sneak me the logs... <.<... >.>... Yes, I'm a baaad puppy.)

11.) Run on sentences. Sometimes I can deal with this, but I tend to squint and stare when I see them. Without that lovely thing called punctuation and proper grammer, muh brain cannot digest such difficult fodder. "XXX runs over to the coyote and hugs her because hey thats what he does and he thinks its great cause shes fuzzy and oh wow look a cookie he goes and eats it." <--You see that? YOU JUST MADE THE PUPPY CRY. INSTAHEADACHE, DUDE.

12.) The Self-Mutilator Crying For Attention Character. ...Oh, wow, you're bleeding! ...Are you dead yet? -poke- ...how about now? -poke, prod, poke, poke- does this hurt? Does this? -pooookitty prodprodprod- Oh, hey, I have an idea! See that ledge? I heard everyone's Peter Pan for a day. Why don't you jump off? 'Cause we know you're just going to come riiiight back. ...Wait, where was I? Oh yeah. COOKIE. <3

:X I feel kinda guilty. Yet... so relaxed. Fulfilled. Freed. It's... It's beautiful mates... So glad I could share with y'all. -Insert sound of a coyote snorting pixie dust here.-

Later, critters! I got some nappin' t'do. Mouse lurrrv!

<3~ <3~ <3~ <3~ <3~ ..... <--tsk. (Mouse droppings.)

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Silver and Gold

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